Reasons I love my man...

My husband is Royce Allen Hunt and we have been married for nearly four years. I love him more than I could possibly say with words...but never the less I want to try.
I love my man...
for the cute way the hair on the top of his head curls,
for the way he tries to flatten it out (and the look on his face when he does it),
for the way he listens to me (even when I'm going on and on and on about something),
because he volunteers to change (and clean up after [we use cloth diapers]) poopy diapers,
for the way he runs his hands through my hair for ever so long (although he might be tired of it, but knows I really really like it),
for the way he looks in navy blue or army green pants,
for the way he knows when I need a hug,
because he lets me cry when I need to,
because he brings out the best in me,
for the way he gently corrects me when I'm wrong,
for God giving me such a considerate man...when I can be very inconsiderate,
for the weird inside jokes we have together,
because I can be myself around him all the time,
because he reminds me of Mr. Rogers,
because it's me he likes, the way I am right now, the way down deep inside me,
because I see God in him,
the way he gets excited about something he's discovered reading his Greek New Testament,
for the way he holds me when I'm scared or just when I'm falling asleep,
for the many times he runs out for the ice cream or chocolate I've just "got to have",
because he's not normal and is delightfully weird,
for the way he repeatedly says "Okay" or "Alright" when he's flustered,
for the way he frequently says "Oops!",
for the way he regularly helps around the house without being asked,
for the way he empathizes with the pain of others (as if he feels it himself),
for the way he loves our little girl, Millie Anne,
because he laughs at my jokes (even when I'm telling it for the 100th time!),
because he massages my sore spots when he's just as sore and tired,
for the way his glasses are always sliding down his nose,
because he likes to read,
because he doesn't get into sports (I don't have to vie for his attention on Monday nights, etc.),
for the way he can just look at me and I am enveloped in his love,
because he likes the way I look, even (perhaps especially) when I don't,
for the gentle way he confronts others/deals with conflict or concerns,
because he almost always listens to both sides of a story before forming an opinion,
because he's handy around the house,
because he knows how to fix cars,
because he's good with computers,
for the way he lights up when I cook or bake something for him,
for the way he thinks through current issues of the day,
because he give people the benefit of the doubt when I'm upset with them,
for the little hairs on his fingers,
...and so many more reasons!

Am I entitled to my opinion?

I have a bone to pick with society today. With the emphasis on individualism and politically correct speech, it seems like having an opinion is fast becoming the ultimate social faux pas. No, you say, today you can think whatever you want. But, can you really? If I were to honestly state my opinion about what color is the best by saying "I think red is the best color!" someone would quickly say, "But you have to remember not everyone's favorite color is red. Some people think other colors are the best." Does this mean that by stating that I think red is the best color it forbids others from thinking differently? If I like red and say as much, am I by default saying that everyone should like red? No, I am simply saying that I think red is the best color (everyone is free to disagree). By stating my honest opinion about color, I am not automatically stating that opinion is an absolute truth.

Perhaps that is the problem. People no longer acknowledge a difference between one's opinion and truth, they are now one and the same. However, there is a profound difference between personal opinion and absolute truth. Personal opinion is what one person thinks to be true. Absolute truth is what is true for all people, no matter what each one thinks. To state my personal opinion, then, is different from stating something to be true for everyone. Because of today's prevailing view that all truth is relative to the individual, personal opinion is effectively disallowed. Personal opinion equals truth, but it must not be stated as truth but very carefully as my own truth only (it is only true for me or at least apologize to those who disagree). Take my original opinion statement "I think red is the best color!" The response of many people would be to remind me that other opinions (other truth) exists and I must always acknowledge this explicitly. So, I must state my opinion about color in something like this "I think red is the best color, but I know that not everyone likes red and it's okay to think another color is the best. Red is just my best color not necessarily anyone else's, feel free to make another color the best color for you." Suddenly, my statement that "I think red is the best color" is apologized into meaninglessness. I have to be so careful to state my opinion in a non-offending or imposing way that I end up saying nothing about what I think of color. This is nonsense. Why can't people take my statement "I think red is the best color" at face value? All I am saying is that I THINK red is the best color. Period. Don't hear what I am not saying. Whether everyone in society acknowledges it or not, absolute truth exists and it is not the same thing as personal opinion. When we deny the existence of absolute truth and make each person's opinion truth, we end up with destroying each person's right to have their own opinion. Effectively, the distinction between absolute truth and personal opinion is obliterated and we end up fighting over stupid things instead of allowing everyone to have their opinion. When we acknowledge that there is absolute truth and it is not the same as personal opinion, we free each person to have their opinion. If I were making a statement of truth rather than opinion about color, I would say "Red is the best color" rather than stating "I think red is the best color" which would be my personal opinion. Thus, absolute truth includes things that are true universally (for all people) like "Oxygen is needed for breathing", "God is", "Death is inevitable" etc. Personal opinion includes things that are true for the individual stating them like "I think red is the best color", "I think Weight Watchers is a great weight loss method", "I don't think peanut butter sandwiches go with chili, I prefer something with cheese rather than peanut butter", and "I think sporks are useless eating utensils" etc.

But the problem is more than just that the existence of absolute truth is widely refuted. The problem also includes the fact that many people assume things about other people when personal opinions are stated, reading more into the statement than is actually said. I am frustrated that many seem to expect that I not only say what I am saying, but also what I am not saying. Conversations would be tediously long if we all had to do this. If every time I said something I had to also say what I was not saying, it would take forever just to have a simple conversation. Take the original simple statement of opinion "I think red is the best color". If I had to say that along with what I am not saying like "I'm not saying other people will agree that it is the best color. I'm not saying you cannot think another color is the best color. I'm not saying all other colors are bad. I'm not even saying I will always think that red is the best color. I'm not saying that I don't like any other colors....etc." then either conversation would be much longer or we would all say much less because it would mean saying much more than a simple statement of opinion. Doesn't it make much more sense to take people's words at face value?

Another favorite tactic I've experienced in society today is picking apart another person's statements till there's nothing left of them. That is, requiring such precision in an expression of personal opinion that one might have to spend large portions of the day just thinking of how to say what I think. For example, if I gave my opinion but didn't preface it with "I think" or conclude it with "in my personal opinion" then I did it wrong. Or, someone might take my statement "I think red is the best color" and say that I should have said "Red is my favorite color". If we value individualism as much as we say we do, then let me speak in my own individual style and I also let you speak in your own individual style. Let's stop picking each other's words apart. Perhaps we could all, when we aren't sure if we just heard a statement of opinion or a statement of fact, pause to determine what the face value of the words are and if we are still unclear ask questions rather than making accusations or criticisms of the person who spoke. That makes good sense, in my opinion.

Rainy Days

What do you do with a rainy day? Where I live, we are expecting to have more than a week's worth of rainy days in a row. So, rather than be miserable about the lack of sunshine, I want to find ways to rejoice in the raindrops. This morning I read my Bible on my front porch and marveled at the way the clouds rolled across the sky. It is amazing the variety of shapes and shades of grey one can find in the clouds. After breakfast and watching the morning news, I took my daughter outside and showed her the rain. I explained that the rain is helping things to grow, like trees, flowers, vines, bushes and other things. She was delighted to watch the wind moving the trees and to play in my arms. We danced in the rain and played her current favorite game (upside down baby) on the porch.
Rainy days are good for many things, my favorite being reading a good book curled up with a cup of hot tea, coffee or cocoa. Next best thing is to go puddle jumping, something else I told my little girl about. She loves to splash away in her bath, so I'm sure she would enjoy splashing in the puddles. Since she'd just had a bath, I decided to wait for another rainy day to go puddle jumping. Rainy days are great days to be productive indoors as well. I love to bake on rainy days, and I may very well bake some cookies, bread or cake today. Cleaning out closets and decluttering hotspots (see Flylady link for the definition of a hotspot) is another great use of a rainy day. Rainy days are great days for dreaming, writing poetry or sharing laughter with friends.
God has given us both the rainy days and the sunny days for our enjoyment and for glorifying Him. What else can I do with a rainy day?? I can praise God for His creation, share my love for Him with others, go out and plant or tend to a garden, and many other things that reflect the glory of God. Sure, rainy days can be days where you feel blue and cry. But there are many positive and uplifting things that can be done with a rainy day. Many indoor activities are amplified by rain outside. Take visiting a museum for example. I find an art or history museum particularly satisfying on a rainy day...I'm not sure why, but it works. It seems as though it is easier to concentrate on the displays and they are more fascinating when I can hear rain outside and I know that the sun is not out. When the sun comes out, I find myself thinking of spending time in it rather than enjoying what is inside (no matter how nice the inside thing might be).
So what do you do with a rainy day?

TV and a social life

For a Stay-At-Home mom to have a social life, it means making the effort to get involved in things outside the home. It also means keeping in touch with family and friends via phone, e-mail or even snail mail, right? Well, sometimes the day gets away with us SAHMs and before we know it the evening hours have arrived. We are tired, wanting some companionship and wanting to do something that does not require much effort. This is where TV creaps in. TV is company, entertainment and effortless all wrapped into one. But sometimes it is also a very lonely thing, a thing that drives away friends and leaves us feeling even more lonely than when we first turned it on to stave off lonely feelings or provide companionship. My husband works second shift, so I am home with just my daughter in the evenings. We have just one working car, so going out in the evening requires some juggling and usually doesn't happen. So, this leaves a social life involving what is within walking distance (and can include my daughter) or calling someone on the phone. Often I have turned on the TV rather than make the effort to call a friend or walk over to a neighbor's apartment.
Last night I realized that I am profoundly lonely and I had a good cry. I need to get a social life. I have let TV substitute for a social life and instead of companionship I feel more lonely. I usually turn the TV on when I have my lunch, around 6 o'clock in the evening. From there it is easy to leave it on till my husband gets home around 11:15. Calling friends at 6 doesn't seem good, because I'm eating and they may be as well. So, how do I make myself turn it off and call friends before it is too late at night to do so? Should I leave the TV off and eat in silence or with a CD or the radio playing? Or, can I discipline myself enough to turn it off after feeding Millie her bedtime bottle? Do I need to stop watching TV to force myself to call friends or go and get involved in activities with others? I don't like an all or nothing approach to TV but perhaps I am incapable of moderation right now. TV is not evil in and of itself, but is it bad for me personally? How much is too much and how much is reasonable? Perhaps I should set a timer or an alarm clock so I am reminded to turn off the TV and have interaction with people. Or, perhaps I need to have the TV off completely for a while. Then I could gradually add back TV as I can handle it. If I find I cannot just watch an hour or half hour here or there, do I have the guts to get rid of the TV? Perhaps I could try limiting TV to 2-3 evenings per week? Tuesdays and Thursdays have the majority of the shows I like, so I could keep TV to those nights. I need to try something and see what will help. I will try limiting TV to Tuesdays, Thursdays and one day on the weekend for now, and see how it goes. I plan to re-evaluate in a month. Perhaps this public commitment to a plan will help.

Adventures with carrots

I love carrots, typically eating at least one every day. So, naturally, I want to feed them to my baby daughter Millie Anne. I bought an extra pound of raw carrots at the grocery and yesterday I decided to take on turning them into baby food. Simple task, right? All I had to do was peel and cut the carrots, put them in my steamer, steam for 20 minutes, whirl in the food processor and serve...or so I thought. After my timer buzzed, just as I finished giving Millie her lunchtime cereal (perfect timing, right?), I tried to food process the carrots to give Millie for her lunch. All I got was chopped carrots, I even tried adding some water. Oh, well. They just needed to steam longer. So, I gave Millie some pumpkin and moved on with the day. About 20 minutes later, I tried again. Same result, chopped carrot but not baby mashed consistency. I steamed the carrots for another HOUR before I pulled out the blender and blended the bejesus out of them. After getting what I thought was the right consistency, I fed some to Millie Anne. She made a face and began to choke...still little bits of chopped carrot hidden in the mash. CRaP Crap...double vomitous crap... I had to switch Millie to pumpkin yet again. By this time I was seething, cursing the stinking orange mess in the blender that was supposed to be easy baby food (or nearly so). Gerber sounded like a wonderful option and much better than slaving all day over some carrots! When I saw my husband later that day I begged to get Gerber carrots rather than go through the mess I had gone through. Mercifully he agreed. Sometimes doing it yourself just is not worth the hassle. Hopefully carrots are the exception when it comes to cooking down veggies for baby food.